pepopowitz’s avatarpepopowitz’s Twitter Archive—№ 1,135

      1. My new favorite insult: "Oh yeah? Well your customer experience resembles that of a rebate offer!" 1/?
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    1. …in reply to @pepopowitz
      The context of this is that I just submitted a rebate for contact lenses. I tracked all their attempts to convince me to abandon. Like to hear it? Here it goes. 2/?
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  1. …in reply to @pepopowitz
    Opportunity 1: Make customer pay extra $$ for contacts that they don't have much choice in buying. 3/?
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    1. …in reply to @pepopowitz
      Opportunity 2: Don't give eye doctor updated printed materials. Require the eye doctor employees to scrawl the URL for Website 1 on a business card. Opportunity 3: Screen eye doctor employees. Remove employees with legible handwriting. 4/?
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      1. …in reply to @pepopowitz
        Opportunity 4: Website 1 - Require authentication for a website the customer will never use again. 5/?
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        1. …in reply to @pepopowitz
          Opportunity 5: Email newly authenticated customer a PDF with a rebate code in it. Disable copy-pasting in the PDF (???), so they can't copy the rebate code. 6/?
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          1. …in reply to @pepopowitz
            Opportunity 6: Direct customer to Website 2. Require authentication for another website the customer will never use again. Self-host authentication. Do not support social providers, and do not share authentication with the first website. 7/?
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            1. …in reply to @pepopowitz
              Opportunity 7: Require three forms of proof to be uploaded. Opportunity 8: Require customer to circle something different on each form of proof. Opportunity 9: Missed opportunity!!!!! We totally could have enforced a really small file size on the image uploads. 8/?
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              1. …in reply to @pepopowitz
                Opportunity 10: Require customer to enter the product name, amount, and price that they purchased. If they ask about OCR say "I don't know what that is." Opportunity 11: Ditto with the place & date of purchase. Opportunity 12: Ditto with a RECEIPT NUMBER???? 9/?
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                1. …in reply to @pepopowitz
                  Opportunity 13: Give them a 6 step wizard to complete their rebate. Opportunity 14: Suggest that it will take 6-8 weeks for them to receive their rebate. They'll forget by then! 10/fin
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